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Post by sunshine on Feb 20, 2023 1:58:17 GMT
IF CLARITY'S IN DEATH, THEN WHY WON'T THIS DIE?
YEARS OF TEARING DOWN OUR BANNERS, YOU AND I.
LIVING FOR THE THRILL OF HITTING YOU WHERE IT HURTS.
GIVE ME BACK MY GIRLHOOD, IT WAS MINE FIRST.
would've, could've, should've ; taylor swift
Bare feet pad against the forest floor as she runs. She's unsure how long she's been running for, but she can hear footsteps close behind her. "Katerina!" The bellowing voice was booming, echoing as she panted and dipped into a clearing to hide in the brush. Using leaves and other foliage to hide herself in the wooded area. He was growing closer and closer and she had to hold her breath to remain hidden. She could see through a small bit, but she knew he couldn't see her... could he? But, what if he could? What if that terrifying large man could still see here? What if he-
"Got ya!" Handful of dark hair is captured into a calloused hand and Blaze yelps. The elder and larger male forcibly yanks her free from the foliage by her hair, dragging her kicking and screaming as little legs flail around. She's digging her nails into the ground, trying to find anything to cling to in order to prevent him from dragging her back. She knows what awaits her, but she hasn't done anything wrong. She's never done anything wrong. She's always followed the rules. Always.
"Let me go, let me go, let me go!" Blaze yelled at the top of her lungs, over and over until she could no longer speak. The elder male tossed her to the hard and cold hardwood floor as soon as they arrived back at the cabin. There wasn't another soul around to save her, there never had been. Her grandfather was a strong man, a large man who had values that he had raised her upon. Values that she dared not to break. Values that he had instilled upon her, in spite of being raised by her parents.
If she dared to tell them what happened here in these woods? He had vowed that he would kill her and her family. In spite of being her father's father. She sobbed, splayed out on the hardwood floor as her chest rose and fell with each sob. "I'm so- sor- I'm sorry! I just- I was just going for a walk! I wasn't trying to escape!" There's evident bruising and fingerprints in her skin, yet she's trying her best to keep it together.
"I told you about running off looking for help! No one can save you, you stupid little girl. It's just you and me out here, all alone..." He was working his belt off, yanking it free from his pants as he reeled his arm back. "Now, this is gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you..." There's a terrifying look on the elder male's face as the belt makes contact with flesh. Over and over and over again. Someone's shaking her, or maybe she's shaking. But, she can't really tell through her own fear. Tears slide down her cheeks, yelping and sobbing with each strike that is laid into her.
"Blaze... Blaze... BLAZE!" There's that voice, shaking her awake as she gasps for air and tears slide down her cheeks. Her chest rising and falling in a fast manner as she wakes in a panic. It was just a nightmare, a horrible horrible nightmare... and yet, it felt so real. She fought to catch her breath as Alexander held her close, making sure he did his best to help her ride out the panic attack. "You're safe, you're okay. I've got you." His lips pressed to her hair, pressing soft kisses to her head and forehead and temple. It takes several minutes for her to calm down, hands shaking as she takes the water bottle offered to her. She takes a few large gulps, wiping the back of her mouth with her hand.
"I'm sorry..." She's apologizing, never wants to upset him and yet, he shakes his head. "No, hey.. Don't apologize. It was just a nightmare, you're okay." He holds her in his lap, Blaze curling up against him as she practically clings to him. "Just a nightmare..." Or a memory. A horrible, horrible memory. Tears are still sliding down her cheeks and she sniffles, wiping at her face hurriedly with a free hand. "I'm sorry that I woke you, it's late.. You should go back to sleep." Though, she knows he will do anything but hold her right now. She knows that while she is awake, he will not be getting a lick of sleep.
"I'm not tired. Besides, I can't sleep when the woman I love is this upset." Alexander's arms wrap tighter around her, shifting so he sits up against the headboard. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here for you." He holds her against his chest, the moonlight cascading against their bodies. Blaze inhales a soft breath, nodding her head. "It all started when I was four..." She began to explain to him the darkest parts of her past, the parts she had hidden from the world. The parts that had not made her hardened, but had softened her. The parts that she never wanted anyone to hear about, but he deserved to know the truth. She needed to tell someone.
The story had left Alexander feeling dread and frustration and Blaze had to keep a steady hold of him, had to ground herself throughout the hardest parts. Mentions of abuse, not just physical, but mental and even worse than that. Blaze's grandfather was still alive... for now. In spite of it all, he was still alive and she hated it. She hated no one in her life, not even those who had done her wrong time and time again. But, she truly did hate her grandfather for the trauma he had caused her... yet, she could never bring herself to truly feel it to her very core... and maybe that was wherein the issue lie.
I've been letting a lot of people down lately. It's always one thing after another. Loss after loss after loss after loss and it's not without putting up a fight! I did just that against Issak the last time I stepped foot into the ring. But, even my best wasn't enough against such an opponent. But, they (the higher ups) seem to think that I am capable of so much more. In spite of my failures, they seem to see the best parts in me... and I am truly thankful for it.
In fact, they've put me up against a formidable opponent this time around. One that I am somewhat familiar with, someone I've ended up in a few of the same places with, though we've never truly crossed paths. This time around, I'm up against Nathaniel Dixon. A man who I know is willing to go above and beyond inside of the ring to ensure not only pain against his opposition, but to ensure he is crowned the victor... and to the victor goes the spoils!
But, I don't want to walk away from this with another loss. I want to make sure I absolutely walk away with a win this time. Nathaniel is scary and intimidating and admittedly, I am afraid of how this bout will go. I'm afraid of how hard I will have to fight, of how I might end up after this match, of the pain I will be put through. But, I've been put through far worse. Worse than anyone could ever imagine. This is just another match and one that will hopefully bring out the best in me. I know I have a lot to prove, but I also have a lot to lose and I don't want to be a failure again. I cannot be a failure again. I cannot keep letting people down over and over and over and-
... I'm sorry, I'm getting carried away. The point is, I am afraid. I know what Nathaniel can do, I've seen it time and time again, though I've never felt such a presence. As I've said over and over, I always face a challenge head on. No matter how rough and tough someone may be, no matter how hard I have to fight... No matter how afraid I am of what might happen. I have to walk in with my head held high and with the spirit of a fighter to make sure Nathaniel knows that I am serious. That I want to make sure he knows that I am far more serious than I have ever been. He's going to get the fight of a lifetime from someone who is done and tired and...
I just want to be better. I want to be stronger... and that starts right now! No more room for complacency and trying to water myself down. No more trying to hide the parts that I've kept hidden for so long. I have to embrace all parts in order to be better than I was before. If I want to see results, I have to do better... I have to be better. I have to be a lot stronger than I was before. Even if that means pushing myself to the very brink, it has to be done.
I promise... No, I vow... I swear, that I will be the best version of myself from here on out. No more excuses, no more complacency. I'm going to go out there and do what I do best... and that's fight! So, I wish you the best of luck, Mister Dixon... You're absolutely going to need it!
It's late when her cellphone rings, over and over and over and over again. Alexander stirs beside her, shaking her from her peaceful sleep for once. "Babe... Baby..." He shakes her softly, waking her from her slumber as she lets out a gentle grumble. "Your phone..." He mumbles softly, nuzzling into her as she reaches out blindly for it. Her hand hits it, almost knocking it from the bedside dresser before she saves it. Her opposite hand catching it easily as she answers the phone finally. Finger blindly sliding the call button open as she answers. "Mm... 'Lo?" Her voice is full of sleep, but she suddenly sits up in bed as her mother's voice responds. "Honey, it's your grandpa..." Blaze shoves the comforter away, immediately climbing out of bed in a hurry as she slips her slippers on and robe is tied around her waist. "I'm on my way, I promise." Blaze responds before hanging up and her hands are shaking so bad that she doesn't trust herself not to pass out.
"Hey.. What's going on?" Alexander rolls out of bed, steadying her as she falls into his arms. He catches her before she can hit the floor, a worried expression on his face. "Bee, talk to me..." She glances up at him, tears in her eyes. "It's my grandpa... He had a heart attack and... and they don't think he's going to make it." Blaze blinks and Alexander nods, settling her onto the edge of the bed. "Stay here a sec, I'm getting the keys and we're gonna get out of here in a minute, okay? Don't pass out on me, please?" He kisses her head and he's off to search for the keys. Leaving Blaze to her own devices, staring blankly ahead, frozen as solid as a statue. It's hard to pinpoint her own feelings, how was she supposed to feel? She was unsure, but she was positive she was in shock. |
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